♥JOBERLYN♥

It's been more than 3 months that I have not lived with someone I treated so special who has the commitment to live with me as special to him too. For 3 months, I remain strong and brave to give myself the satisfaction that I alone can give. For 3 months, I have contented myself to live with the care from my parents and true friends. For 3 months, I escape myself from tears, hurt and pain. But that 3 months were not as easy as what other people could think. They may say I were not really affected of losing someone who once became a part of my life and many times became my life.

But the truth is, deep within this fun-loving soul, behind these influencing smiles and laughter, still it is so hard to move on and let go of something you treasured most, something that you never thought that you will lose someday, something that promises to be with you until the end of your days, something that keeps my heart beats extraordinarily.

Even if I try to deny, I try to escape, I try to run away from the truth, still the memories and incidences keep me reminded of how I miss someone. The times that you take care of each other. The times that he made me smile. The times that he made my dry. The times that he made me feel special. And the times that he taught me how to be strong in letting go an important thing in my life to become stronger.

I admit that before, I always have those regrets in my mind of why I tend to decide for many times to let him go. But now, I realized that I should not have regretted a lot. It is that because of letting him go, it made feels so proud of myself now. I made something that I can't believe I can make it. It has been one of my greatest achievement to win over with my disastrous emotions and feelings. To be able to follow my brain and not my heart over love. To advocate what is the right and the good thing to do.

Above everything else, there is this one sure reason that I know why for almost 4 years we still end up separated. God has another plan for me and for him. And I bet, those plans He has for us has not included the each of us in it. :)

For 5,840 days of existence in this world, I am now 365 days towards something that I am looking forward to. For 5,840 days of experiences, I am only a year away from something I also afraid to happen. For 5,840 days of living, I have only 1 year to prepare myself to face what the world awaits me to be. It seems to be so amazing to imagine how I am able to exist, stay and live in this lovely thing that God had created for already 16 years. For a child whose date of birth and death is the same, how he wishes to live even just for a day. 16 years is more than enough. I may not have everything that I wanted, at least I don't have nothing. For 16years, contentment is one of the best lessons that I learned. Even if I don't have everything, at least I have something. And that something has always been everything to me, my Father, my family, my friends and those who are always there for me.

I just can't still imagine myself on how do I able to surpass all the trials that I have been through. All the blacks, grays and dark that I saw was just a blink and after, i then saw the rainbow and the light with smile and laughter. That in every time I slip, I flip, I fall, I cry, and I almost die, I can still get up, stand up, move on and go on towards my desires. Even at my greatest downfalls, I still strive not to forget about my dreams, my dreams for my family, for my friends and the least for myself. Because I know, without those people, I will not reach this time of life. I may falter, but they keep on reminding me that whatever I do, still the love they have for me will never ever change. I may have been hurt and torn down, yet they hold me to stand up and wipe those tears away. I may have hurt others, but they let me learn from them, and let me know that mistakes are my greatest teachers in life.

From 1 to 16, I learn to be strong, control my emotions, and fight for what I know is right and good. I had learned to accept defeat and strive to succeed. I learned to bend when I have to, and to stand out when I should. I have known also finally, how to let go and move on. It is at 16 that I have challenged to become someone that I wish I will be. And I'm glad, I had my first step towards achieving it. I'm so happy that at 16, I met so many people, extraordinary people who take part of my life and now, who are very special to my heart. At 16, it's good to know how I slowly establish the bond within my family. Many challenges, yet this make my existence become my living. 16 years has come to an end, and I'm looking forward to more things that I will get through and where I can always learn to that awaits me as I prepare myself before that moment, a year from now. :)

♥JOBERLYN♥

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